Here’s the skinny- women have as many mentors as men do. We nurture the heck out of one another in these relationships. As a result, we end up being over-developed and under-promoted. What we don’t have, and what is critical to our success, are sponsors. Sponsors are mentors on steroids. They use their influence, open doors, actively advocate for you and let you draft off their success to build yours. And research show that men have 3-4 times more sponsors than women do.

Read this article and research on the sponsorship effect and you’ll start to get fired up about why having sponsors is critical to changing the game for women in business. Game on- let’s get ourselves some sponsors!

I hate the knowing/doing gap so now that we know, what do we do? This is where things are simple but not easy. If you are looking for sponsorship relationships, identify those senior leaders whom you know have acted as sponsors for others in the past. Build your street credibility with them- be smart, resourceful and willing to learn. Then show a little moxie and ASK. Remember, the guys are, and they are killing us in terms of pay, promotions and influence. ASK, ASK, ASK (consider this being your mantra for the year). If you’re in a position to be a sponsor- do it! Pick a few women you believe in and advocate for them, take some calculated risks, and watch them thrive.

Are you willing to leave 2 million dollars on the table? Because women ask for raises and promotions 85% of the time less often than men, and when they do ask, it’s for 35% less, we’re doing just that! Check out this brief interview with Carnegie Mellon University professor Linda Babcock. She’s done some incredible research on women and negotiations and co-authored two books, “Women Don’t Ask” and “Ask For It”. Because women ask less, and ask for less the financial implications over our careers are staggering.

What Babcock found is that women don’t realize what opportunities for negotiation exist and are worried about the social consequences of asking. I saw this play out with my own kids, who are working for my husband this summer. He asked them both how much they thought they should make per hour, and had them tell him independently what their salary requests were. My daughter: $8 per hour. My son: $12 per hour. When he asked their reasoning, our daughter shared that she was happy to have the job and that she didn’t want to impact the cash flow of the business too much. Our son was all about how having him around would be a huge help to his dad and that he deserved at least that amount… and could he have a cut of profits, too? Classic female/male behavior.

So what’s a woman to do?

Change your mindset and start to think about just about everything as negotiable. You’ll be amazed at what’s possible. Babcock suggest starting small, and practicing. Ask the cleaners to have your clothes ready a day earlier, ask if there’s a fresher cut of fish at the market, ask for an even lower rate at the hotel and an even later check-out.

Become a master negotiator. Set a goal for yourself to become an expert (or at least proficient) on negotiations. Read Babcock’s books. Take a class. Read up on negotiation skills.

Educate. Share the research and results with your daughters and colleagues. Mentor young women on how to ask and negotiate. Watch how your responding to your kids when they ask for things (I know I am!) and congratulate and encourage the girls in your life when you see them asking.

ASK, ASK, ASK!

When things are terrible, people get fired up and start making changes. When things are ‘good enough’ complacency sets in. In the business world, things are ‘good enough’ for women right now. There are enough opportunities in middle management that the lack of women in the C-suite isn’t causing an uproar. The days of butt-pinching machismo are for the most part a distant memory. In fact men and women are getting along just swimmingly, so the fact that women are only making 77% of what men earn is barely causing a yawn.  Women no longer have to bring their husbands along to co-sign for a business loan (which was happening as recently as the late 80’s) so the fact that they rarely have access to the big money (1 million-plus loans, venture and angel dollars) doesn’t cause a stir.

Things are just good enough that they are killing us in terms of forward progress.  The dial on critical factors (pay, executive positions, board of directors’ seats, elected office…) has barely moved in the past 15 years. It’s a sad state of affairs.

What to do? Step up, step out and move the dial:

-Ask for a raise, negotiate contracts, don’t discount your pricing. Sounds simple but one of the key reasons women make less is because we don’t ask for more. The guys do, and it shows up in their paychecks.

-Get a mentor and get a sponsor. Ask for help, learn from people around you, and get someone who believes in you enough to ‘draft’ for you.

-Invest in yourself, your relationships and your development. It’s astounding to me that men will drop $100 for a round of golf without batting an eye because they know it will help move them forward and women will bitch about spending the same amount (or less) on their own development. Get over it and make the investment.

-Learn everything about business and make it known that you want to serve on boards. No excuses- learn about finance, read the Wall Street Journal, become a business junkie. If you want to play, you have to understand the rules of the game.

Get out there and rock your moxie!

If you needed proof that we’re a little nutty here at the Moxie Exchange Movement you’ve got it! Slightly over 6 months after we launched, we’re holding our 1^st event for Go Girl- MoxieFest.

Although it’s been hectic, we really wanted to start mobilizing the moxie in the next generation of female leaders as quickly as possible, so we decided to go for it! We’ve actually had to cut off registration for the girls because we could only accommodate a certain number in the workshops, which tells us we really did need to push the envelope on this one.

Thanks to all of you who shared your ideas on social media with us about what it means to be a leader. Your ideas are being included in the event program, and we’re plastering the walls of the venue with them as well.

Thanks also to our Wonder Woman sponsor: Pretty Brainy- an incredible company that has “smart goods for smart girls of any age”. Check them out at www.prettybrainy.com

A final thought- Getting Moxiefest off the ground this quickly has me thinking about the limits we set for ourselves. We took a risk- we didn’t have the time or the money to pull this off, and we still went for it because it was in alignment with our values and what’s important to us. It’s a great reminder that the timing will NEVER be right, and we have to do things that make us uncomfortable.  There might be a million little screw ups during the event, but we know that overall we’re going to make a difference for girls. There’s a huge difference in aiming for perfection versus aiming for excellence. Ask yourself what IS possible instead of why something can’t be done. Rock your moxie!

Woot Woot! The latest local movement to come on board is Madison, Wisconsin.

The amazing Dana Zurbuchen will be leading the charge as the local MoxiExec. Dana brings a wealth of business acumen along with her loads of moxie, and we’re excited to have her and business and professional women in Wisconsin’s capital city join the Moxie fold. “I am so stoked to get these great women together to experience what Moxie is all about. I have no doubt that Moxie is going to change their lives,” says Zurbuchen. We couldn’t agree more!

The inaugural meeting in Madison will take place on March 15th, 3:30 – 6:00 at Gray’s Tied House.

I had a recent experience where I was asked to take on something really big. My initial response was, “I’m not qualified.” It took me about 30 seconds before I slapped myself upside the head and thought, “Of course I’m qualified. Of course they would ask me.” That wasn’t my initial response though, and I wonder how long it would have taken me to reach that conclusion had I not interviewed Joanna Barsh and read her book How Remarkable Women Lead.

When sharing the experience and my re-framing with several women, they had all experienced the same thing. Somehow there’s wiring in most of our brains that’s shorted out BIG circuit. We need to remind ourselves to ask BIG and believe BIG because no-one is going to do it for us. If you want to be on the Board of Directors, you’re going to have to make it known. If you want to run the Division, you’re going to have to ask. If you want to double your sales and land the big account, you’re going to have to believe it’s possible.

One of the key things they teach at the Girl’s Leadership Institute is for girls to learn how to take up more space in the world. Right On! Let’s ALL take up more space, ask BIG and believe BIG.

I spent last week with an extraordinary group of businesswomen in South Florida and Atlanta. These women bestowed innovative ideas, intelligent thinking, laughter and moxie upon one another. Businesses moved forward because of their interactions. And yet, at the end of one evening the “women don’t support one another” conversation came up. The tired ‘women stab each other in the back’ type statements were made.

ENOUGH! STOP DRINKING THAT KOOL-AID!

Why do we keep perpetuating that bull crap? Excuse the strong language but I am weary of the serious damage done to women by this seemingly innocuous conversation. I want you to think back on the last 20 interactions you had with the women in your life. Chances are they were much like the ones I described earlier- supportive, smart, positive interactions. Yet we keep telling ourselves that what we experience most of the time isn’t true and that instead we’re awful to one another. It’s time we stop doing ourselves a disservice as women in business together.

Listen, I’m not Pollyanna. There are some tough people in this world that will step on you as soon as spit in your eye, and all behind your back. However, that’s not a skill set limited to the female population. There are women who are jerks, and there are men who are jerks- equal opportunity! Yet somehow we pull out the bad experiences we’ve had with women and make the exception to the rule the gospel truth. Stop, stop, stop!

The next time you hear the old, worn, inaccurate soundtrack about women being evil to one another, please speak up and stand for the truth. It will help all of us.

We’ll be in Miami / South Florida this week to attend the inaugural meeting of the South Florida Movement. What an exciting time! Lead by the incredible Barbara Hauser the first Florida group is shaping up to be amazing. Our guest speaker is Joanna Barsh, Senior Partner at McKinsey & Company, and author of “How Remarkable Women Lead”. The meeting starts at 3:30 on the 18th, and will be held in Weston.  If you’re interested in attending, register for a Moxie Encounter and we’ll get you the finer details.

Wow, what a year! I’m sure you’re saying the same, as 2010 was a watershed year for many people and companies. Which way did things break for you- up or down? Have you figured out why, and have you stopped the things that held you back and increased the things that powered you forward? Businesses have habits just like people, and you want to make sure you’re company has healthy habits, not destructive ones.

Spending time in gratitude is one of the most powerful habits you can adopt for your company and for yourself as a businesswoman. Don’t go all Pollyanna on me and ignore the things that need fixing, but don’t dwell there, and certainly don’t have the reputation as the whiny kid down the block out in the marketplace. We’ve all done business with them (not for long) and it’s less than pleasant. Focus and be thankful for what’s going right and plan on integrating that gratitude into how your company is seen and experienced by clients and centers of influence in your market.

Wrap up 2010 with gratitude. It’s a great way to end a year.

I heard Dennis Whittle, founder of GlobalGiving speak earlier this week. A few ideas I took away from his journey at the World Bank and now as an entrepreneur:

• Do what makes sense
• All that should matter is the quality of an idea, not who puts forth the idea
• Even if your idea doesn’t get used, you get valuable feedback from getting it out there
• People are motivated by data and stories, not just one or the other

This is a great time to be thinking BIG and getting your ideas for the future out there. Get after it!