I'm not good at anything.

Last week at MoxieFest I was sitting at a table with four teenaged girls ranging in age from 12-15. I asked them a simple question, “What are you good at?” The question, and the underlying ramifications, turned out not to be so simple. The girls couldn’t answer the question. It truly stumped them. After some prodding and encouragement from me, one of the girls brightly proclaimed, “I’m good at soccer!” I watched her face light up when the realization that she WAS good at something dawned on her. More prodding and encouragement from me had another of the girls come to the realization that she was, “pretty good at school.” Not as much conviction, not as much excitement. Two of the girls were unable to respond. They could not come up with a single thing they thought they were good at. I even asked the question in a different way,”What would your MOM say you were good at?” Nothing. I wanted to cry.

I’ll just go ahead and state the obvious- women are really rotten at standing in their greatness, at taking credit for their share of work accomplished, at acknowledging they have gifts and talents that add to this party we call business and life. How many times have you heard a colleague say, ‘it was nothing’ or ‘really it was the team that pulled it off’ or something along those lines. All the time, I bet. We’ve got to come up with a better answer when someone points out what we’ve done. How about, ‘I worked very hard to make that happen and am stoked that it all came together’. Or try this one for size, ‘The ______(fill in the blank) was right in my wheelhouse and I’m glad I was able to use my strengths to make it happen.’

We need to acknowledge our accomplishments and understand what we’re good at so the people around us can do the same. And sometimes, horror of horrors, we need to START the conversation about our accomplishments and what we’re good at instead of waiting someone else to take the lead. If we don’t, it’s likely that no one else will, and the numbers at the top will stayed stacked in the xy chromosome camp. Don’t be an idiot about it – thank others who were involved, be gracious AND own your success and talents.

Here’s my throw down challenge. I want to hear what YOU are good at. Actually, I want to hear, unapologetically, what you kick a** at, what big and small things you’ve accomplished that you’re proud of, and what YOU bring to the party. I’ll take my own bait and start us off. Here’s what I’m good at: I’m good at communicating big ideas. I’m good at creating enthusiasm in a team. I’m good at seeing the big picture and thinking about long range implications of strategic moves. I’m good at connecting people, resources and ideas. I’m good at leading the charge or pushing from the back of the pack to keep the momentum going. I’m good at making people laugh and making people feel comfortable.

Bring it on! Oh, and bring a girl to the party. They need to see that it’s not only ok, but necessary to know what you’re good at and own your accomplishments. The two girls at MoxieFest who didn’t know, or didn’t feel comfortable acknowledging what they were good at? I filled in the blanks for them and shared what I thought they were good at from what I’d observed over the several hours we’d spent together. When all else fails, have a sister’s back!

Mo

I’m Mo (Maureen) and I’ve set out to change the way women support each other, develop as leaders and inspire our future female phenoms!  Find me on the roof top calling all women with MOXIE!  Find me on Twitter or join our ROCKIN’ Facebook and LinkedIn Communities

I can’t imagine how tough it would be to be a girl today. We’re slowly suffocating the next generation of female leaders with a steady stream of insidious, confidence-sucking media poison. It’s never been easy, but imagine growing up now with reality TV (keep up with those Kardashians!), commercials the likes of Go Daddy (some ‘too hot for TV!”) and a vitriolic political environment with women being used as a punching bag in the middle.  I don’t know how our girls are getting out of bed every morning thinking they’re anything but ‘less than.’

It’s our responsibility to start talking, and keep talking, to the girls in our lives about what it means to be a woman and a leader and about how to spot and understand the messages being directed their way that are subtle yet powerful in their ability to distort reality. A great place to start is the documentary Miss Representation, by Jennifer Siebel Newsom. You might also read Ashley Judd’s wonderful post together about speculations surrounding her appearance and the larger implications of the hub bub.  You could even sit down and participate in the ‘puffy face moments’ movement Judd started.

If you haven’t done so already, get the girls in your life involved in on our own Go Girl Project. This month we’re holding MoxieFest events across the country because we know that ‘if you can see it, you can be it’. We want girls to see smart, successful REAL women in action and believe that they, too, can walk in those shoes.

Finally, let me share what’s become somewhat of a running joke in our house. When I see something that just isn’t right, I point it out. I don’t harp, moan or hop on a soap-box, I simply call it as I see it. And you know what? It’s working. Here was a recent exchange between my son, daughter and I as we were watching a movie at home. Before I could even say anything about the scene (in which the actor was climbing a water tower in 4 inch heels, a push up bra and a skin tight dress while her scene mate was in jeans and running shoes) my daughter spoke up, “Mom, we GET it. Women are objectified by the media.” “Yeah, it’s wrong, we know. Very unfair,” said my son.  Happy dance! They noticed it- they SAW what usually slips past unnamed yet high impact. They’re paying attention and knew it was twisted. I’ll take that over silence every day!

As long as I have a voice, I’m committed to pointing out the garbage that’s poisoning our girls. When I stop, I’ll be dead. Maybe I’ll pre-record some messages that can be played when I’m gone… Or maybe, if we’re ALL talking, things will be better. Please add your voice to the mix, or if you’re already started, keep talking, sister!

What a great day! The “you go girl” bracelets have arrived and are ready for purchase at the ‘shop’ area of the website. They’ve passed the 14 year old daughter test (she loves them) and the middle aged woman test (everyone who sees them has loved them). We are ready to start funding scholarships! I can’t quite announce it yet, but we’ve selected a dynamite organization to deliver the training, so we’re truly off to the races. Please consider gifting the bracelets for the holidays, or for the heck of it.

There’s already a great story associated with the bracelets. Two women in Colorado who didn’t know one another were watching their girl’s soccer practice and one noticed the other’s bracelet. She said, “You must be a part of Moxie” and another business connection was formed!

Let’s get our Moxie on!

I received some great news on Friday. I learned that the bracelets for The Go Girl Project have arrived! I’m pretty fired up about the possibilities these little bracelets hold. I love the idea of women and girls around the country wearing the bracelets knowing that in buying them they’ve helped fund scholarships for girl’s to attend leadership training. I like to think about a girl wearing our bracelet and using it as a reminder that she can do anything. Maybe she’ll be able to give that speech with her knees shaking just a little less, or maybe she’ll try something new instead of holding back. Whatever the occasion, I hope her bracelet gives her just a little bit of extra confidence and power. We’re not talking Wonder Woman’s bracelets here, but close!

The rock stars at Alexa’s Angels did an amazing job designing them for us and they turned out great. They say “you go, girl!” and come in black, green and blue. I’ve never been great at describing things, so we’re excited to get photos up on the website so you can see what they look like and – we hope – purchase them!

I’ll let you know when we’re ready for you to help us make a difference!